I think the honest answer is that depends on the individual. Some may experience a single episode of depression and then recover completely. Some may live their whole life with a low level of depression. Some may alternate periods of complete wellness with complete disability and still others may struggle with it for years, cycling through mild and severe periods and yet eventually make a full recovery.
I believe heredity must have an influence - my mum and grandma have also struggled with long-term depression and eating issues. Age is also an important factor. Particularly those people who have struggled throughout their teenage years - our brains grow through major changes at this time and it makes sense that mental illness during these critical years could leave a permanent mark, adapting our systems to be more vulnerable to depression. And this way we have never known an alternative.
Personally, I view my depression as a chronic illness that needs to be managed. The correct cocktail of treatments will become a part of my routine and control the symptoms, flare ups will be more likely when under stress and will need additional treatment. But I don't think this is the same for everyone.
Perhaps it could end up better than I imagine. Maybe there will come a day when I don't think about depression at all (my own depression that is, given that I want to become a therapist), a time when I am so recovered that I don't particularly need to keep an eye on it. But this illness has been with me so long that I can't imagine who I would be without it. Even when I go through extended periods of relative wellness I have never felt recovered, I've never felt that it has left me, I've never forgotten.
During the good times I can accept that this might be the way it has to be, that perhaps depression is just a part of the person I am, that 98% recovery is good enough. But when I am ill I dread that I will never be free of it, that it has forever left its mark.
Maybe a tendency towards depression isn't necessarily a bad thing. Provided that it is well controlled, we may even be able to use to our advantage those thought patterns so detrimental in depression. Some of its traits can be beneficial in small doses - perfectionism can motivate us to achieve our best, overthinking may help us to make that major change that is needed, a slip downwards will be more noticeable and prompt us to change things more quickly. Emphasis on the small doses of course.
As the saying goes, the light shines so much brighter in the darkness and we have experienced such darkness, so how bright must the light be?
Maybe we can translate our horrendous experiences into some good.
Do you view your mental health issues as permanent or transient? Chronic or recoverable?
I seriously am terrified that I'll be this way forever. Legitimately terrified. I can't live hating my body and being stuck in a purge/restrict cycle forever. I can't be depressed like this forever. I will make a freak car accident happen. Healing is possible, but some people struggle. Struggle softens a heart for the struggles of others though. <3
ReplyDeleteI think, as you said, it depends on the individual. I was a psychology major in undergrad and this question came up a lot through discussions. Many people are predisposed by their genes to be depressed or not depressed, and then incidence, like upbringing can turn on that predisposition.
ReplyDeleteSo it is like we have a light switch, the light is off, but once you turn it on, it is very hard to turn off. Further, the longer we are depressed, the harder it is to get better. It is comparable to a bad relationship, the longer you are in the relationship, the harder it is to get out, and once you are out, the more damage it has done to your psyche.
On the other hand, some people have an event in their life that can cause depression. This could be a traumatic experience, such as a car accident, a divorce, or the loss of a loved one. This type of depression usually goes away because it is more situational and people can be very resilient to situational events. Especially if these events are not reoccurring.
For example, Edgar Allen Poe had a lot of people die around him. Actually, all the women he loved in his life died. So though his depression may have been situational, the situation occurred over and over again and therefore made it harder for him to get over his depression. This is only speculation, however, because you can never know exactly what a person is thinking or feeling.
Then finally, there are people who, through no situational event or upbringing are depressed. This is genes mainly at work. These cases are extremely hard, because they can be treated with medication, but the medication can only work for so long before the body becomes immune to the medication and the person has to keep upping their dose. Eventually this can be dangerous and can cause more harm than good to the individual.
Depression can be a lifelong event, but it can also be situational and only last a month to a year. It all depends on the individual, their genes, and their life experiences. Some people just are better able to handle different events than others.
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